Home Forums Trinity Track The Art of Mentoring

This topic contains 212 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  douglasleps 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #5971

    stephenlawes
    Keymaster

    Please enter your comments and thoughts on the Art of Mentoring course here.

  • #5972

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 1
    I like how the professor defines mentoring and points out that Jesus was mentoring his disciples. Jesus taught with his life giving knowledge, Principles, and Wisdom. #1 Mentor= Jesus. Anyone can mentor. There can be many mentors in many areas of life.

    • #6014

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Lesson 1 made me realize how lucky I have been to have mentors in different areas and times of my life. They are what molded me or modeled behaviors that I wanted to be like.

      • #6020

        PBob
        Participant

        Hi Pat, I think we are all molded by the many mentors in our lives. Not all good. Not all bad. You post just made me think about some of the bad mentors I had that sent me down the wrong paths. We must be very careful who we accept as mentors and how we are as mentors too. We are all in this together. God Bless

        • #6920

          sheilawiedenheft
          Participant

          You definitely have a very good point about being careful who you chose as mentors. I too have been lead down the wrong path in the past. I even think by people with good intentions who have also been lead down the wrong path. Or thought playing around in other forms of spirituality was harmless. Very slippery and seemingly innocent at first. But not the case at all.

  • #5973

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 2
    Jesus is still mentoring us through the Holy Spirit’s guidance. I never really thought about Moses mentoring Joshua and like his pointing out how Moses stands with Joshua as Mentor stands with Mentored. God speaks through mentors to mentored. It is good to see how the mentor lets the mentored practice what they learn while still with them.

    • #5981

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      I agree. I like how Dr. Wise gave us so many examples: Jesus mentors his disciples, Moses mentors Joshua, Paul mentors Timothy, etc…..

  • #5974

    PBob
    Participant

    Hey Tom, keep it simple!

  • #5976

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 1. I really liked that it was explained that anyone can be a mentor, even if it is just by telling others what you have learned from God. It gives me more confidence to be a mentor knowing that Jesus still mentors us today through the Holy Spirit.

    • #6921

      sheilawiedenheft
      Participant

      It brings me great comfort also knowing the Holy Spirit still is here with us to comfort and mentor us today.

  • #5977

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 2. Concerning the woman at the well. I have always known that Jews did not associate with Samaritans, but it was interesting in this lesson to learn just how vulnerable Jesus made himself religiously, ethically and culturally by talking to her and I did not know that the woman at the well was the first person whom Jesus revealed his identity.

    • #6925

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      I was not aware of that either. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to study God’s word in this fashion. I am learning so much, I feel blessed daily

    • #7463

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I thought that was facinating too, Pat. I always understood why Jews didn’t speak to them because of their religious practices, and why she came to the well when the other women were not present, but that Jesus put himself in a precarious situation opened my eyes to the risks that we need to be willing to take in order to spread The Gospel in a world that calls us “Bible Thumpers” when we do!

  • #5978

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 3. Concerning accountability, I agree that the hardest aspect of it is the acceptance by the will of another person, that we give another person permission to reproof us if we are doing something that is not right. For a person who is very independent or who is not normally accountable to another person that would be hard. We know we are accountable to God, but to another person is hard because you see them face to face and must be able to handle it if they tell you that you are doing something wrong or headed in that direction.

  • #5979

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 4. Dr. Wise asked us the question about whether we have a “Barnabas” or encourager in our life. I am lucky to have a friend at church who is my Barnabas. This is a person who not only encourages me to take these classes because I learn so much through them, but I can go to if I am trying to figure out if something is right or wrong and who will reproof me if I am thinking about making a bad decision. Lesson 4 has reminded me to be grateful for this person. I try to be the “Barnabas” in return and I thank God for this relationship.

  • #5980

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 3
    Elisha and Elijah were very different which shows that anyone can mentor and help bring out the best in their mentoree. I love the idea of getting a “double portion” of Elisha’s Spirit. Can you just imagine what that would feel like? I like the example of Paul giving Timothy tasks and responsibilities and watching him grow. Pointing out how encouragement is a two sided street and is positive for all. I have experienced that many times in my life journey. The professor points out the importance of accountability to God and each other, and that without it we can have chaos. Chaos!

    • #6015

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Yes, Chaos = complete disorder and confusion. I have been there!

      • #6021

        PBob
        Participant

        Been there done that!

    • #7307

      Cheryldoerfel
      Participant

      I hadn’t given the “chaos” part any thought but just realized how true that is. Everyone doing their own thing their own way sure does create a lot of chaos. It describes my house. But when people are accountable to each other, working together, being considerate, etc., there is a lot more peace. Just looking at my kids…

  • #5982

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 4
    Confidentiality is a must with mentoring. We are held accountable as Christians especially Pastors. All eyes are on you and looking for failures and looking to let you know which leads to NOT everyone has the right to be your mentor. Successful mentoring draws out the personal potential in the mentoree. Tolerance and patience are very important as the mentoree is watching you for these traits.

    • #6016

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      I think that many people are afraid to be mentors for fear that no one is perfect and the one being mentored may see the imperfections of the mentor and not respect/listen to/believe, etc as the mentor wants/needs them to.

      • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by  patriciakuhn.
      • #6022

        PBob
        Participant

        It is scary Pat. I think it is OK to have imperfections and show the mentoree, and have them realize we are all imperfect and can help each other in that aspect. Thus, at times the mentoree can be the mentor. Imagine that! We are all in this together, God Bless

  • #5983

    PBob
    Participant

    Hi Pat, nice to see I am not alone on this study.

    • #6013

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Yes, we can comment on each others comments LOL.

      • #6019

        patriciakuhn
        Participant

        Your turn Bob.

        • #6023

          PBob
          Participant

          My Turn is Your Turn.

    • #7395

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Your not alone Bob, your just restrained by a sense of time! 😎

  • #6032

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 5,6
    It is important as a mentor to have Perspective, seeing the big Picture. The ability to be a resource guide for information to the mentoree at just the right time and the right way is important in a mentor. The professor lists many traits that we should avoid in a mentor to prevent frustrations. 1, too busy, 2, use you, 3, criticism, 4, not with the times, 5, egotistical. Both Good mentors and Bad mentors can have a powerful impact on their mentoree. The professor gives us very detailed lists of things to consider when choosing a mentor and being a mentor. Praying should be # 1 always. We can have more than one mentor at a time and definitely have a mentor and mentoree at the same time.

    • #6087

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      I especially liked Dr. Wise’s discussion concerning “constructive criticism”-that sometimes people use it to nitpick what they personally don’t like about another person-that it is definitely not constructive and that instead we should be encouraging that person.

  • #6088

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    LESSON 5. I liked Dr. Wise’s discussion concerning the 4th common characteristic of a good mentor=Perspective. If you can stand back and see the whole picture and if you may have some experience concerning the problem or subject, then you may be able to come up with an alternate route that the mentoree may never have thought of. The mentoree may think they only have Choice A or Choice B, but you can come up with Choice C.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  patriciakuhn.
    • #6124

      PBob
      Participant

      D

    • #6933

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      yes. Perspective helps us understand the position of the mentoree while seeing alternatives they have not realized

    • #7760

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      The Art of Mentoring Lesson 7
      I love how passionate Dr. Wise is when he describes and explains the “Intensive” Mentoring relationship. You can hear it in his voice, the deep heart felt experiences and encounters he has shared in his lifetime. You can even hear a joyful laughter as he describes how important each vital dynamic is and the resulting benefits. Its a relationship, deeply committed to and shared by both. It is life changing.

    • #7761

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      Yes I am blown away when I go to my mentor with a dilemma and her perspective can shine the light on it in a way I never even imagined. She so often sees things so differently than I do and I am so glad when she can help me through it with her new eyes.

  • #6125

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 7
    Very intensive chapter on the 3 levels of Mentoring being, Intensive, Occasional, and Passive. I think it is important to remember the 3 vital dynamics of mentoring, 1, Attraction, 2, Responsiveness, and 3, Accountability. I never really thought about mentoring being biblical discipleship and modeling where the mentoree not only learns it but experiences it by doing it. I have mentioned this before but I thought about it again while listening to this lesson, Our very own Pastor Steve’s Preaching in Shorts series called, “Developing a Disciple’s Heart” was an excellent lesson in mentoring or disciplining. I would highly recommend listening to it. It was another of those “no, no, I don’t want to do that” things that changed my life in many ways. God works in mysterious ways. We are lucky to be in this learning situation. Thank You God. Thank you Steve.

    • #6305

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      In response to the mentor asking the mentoree to do something, especially for the first time that (example would be to say prayer in public), I think if the mentor has modeled it enough times, it is much easier for the mentoree to do. I agree that by using this method, the mentor not only learns it but experiences it too.

    • #7400

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      PB, right you are. God uses us where we are at. It’s more than The Lord willing…it’s also are we willing…

    • #7539

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I think that if the way you are living is “attractive”, you will draw mentorees to you that “want what you have”…the easiest way to spread His Kingdom 🙂

    • #7759

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      Yes Bob, I too never thought of Mentoring in biblical terms…. Only in a business sense. God does work in mysterious ways!

  • #6145

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 8
    The professor talks about people not connecting with each other due to dysfunctional families and society placing emphasis on individual achievement making them deficient in discipleship. New believers are not lead into their new identity in Christ which is best achieved through relationships. “HAVE YOU TOLD GOD HOW YOU FEEL?” I love that line. Used it myself once or twice or…. He goes into detail about spiritual guides and disciplers. Spiritual guides can go long periods of time in silence but are there when you need them. Disciplers are there more often to teach and train. Good lesson for a cold day in the Keys.

    • #7418

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      I like that too, Bob. It’s getting people to get real with God by a very simple statement…no eloquent prayers or fancy words, just realize He IS listening…”I Am”!

    • #7543

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Having a “walking and talking” relationship with God is just the BEST… But there are times when it is good to have a real human…a Spiritually connected human…to process with. I liked the idea of a Spiritual Checkup.

  • #6146

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 9
    Coach: Observation, feedback and Evaluation. A price has to be paid for success.
    Occasional: Talked a lot about Counselor. Timely advice from an impartial counselor can be very important.

    • #6306

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      I think an impartial counselor is more effective than just taking to a friend, because friends are definitely biased because they sometimes do not want to tell you anything negative about yourself.

  • #6147

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 10
    Chapter 10 continues to expand knowledge on Occasional mentoring talking about the value of Teacher imparting knowledge and understanding on a specific subject helping the mentor to grow and develop. He talks about Sponsor and how that is a way of moving up or into a company or organization. We must again keep in mind that our success and our trust must be in God to guide us to the right mentors. Moving on to Passive mentoring I find it interesting that we can use dead people as our models which makes me think about Jesus being the best passive mentors for us all. After all, modeling is a biblical concept.

    • #6308

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Concerning being a Sponsor helping someone move up in an organization or company, I liked that he explained that sometimes you have to refer the mentoree to another place that might be better for them, than the organization they are currently at.

    • #7562

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Very well written and a great summary, Bob…and to think you were going to give up! So glad you didn’t 🙂

      • #7565

        PBob
        Participant

        Thanks, yes I am glad I did not give up. I am loving most of the lessons.

  • #6148

    PBob
    Participant

    AM 11
    The professor dives deeper into the mentoring relationship. He gives us intensive rules to consider. We can’t do it alone and need a balanced approach to mentoring and life. For many a natural mentoring relationship is with their family. We are always being watched by our wives and kids and need to be wary of our actions, words and behaviors.

    • #6307

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Yes, our children and grandchildren watch us very closely and we definitely need to be a good model and mentor carefully.

    • #6950

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      I guess this is where the saying, “Practice What You Preach” comes into play.

    • #7791

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      So true Bob. Doug and I got a lot out of this one in the area of how we are the horizontal peer mentoring so
      tionship. Even with this Bible College. We are in it together. Comparing notes and discussing or thoughts. And what more of a Mentoring relationship can be than parenthood. Such a natural God given responsibility to train up our children on the way they should go.

  • #6149

    PBob
    Participant

    Am 12/13
    He talks about some fertile grounds for mentoring being Church, Books, and Modeling. The suggestions on attitudes to “make it to the end” are great and I think the most important are Communion with God and Discipline. Self-motivation can keep us growing and learning. I hate poems but his parting poem was excellent NEVER GIVE UP. Be a mentor-be a mentoree. GOD BLESS YOU!!

    • #7602

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I really liked the poem too. I liked the different translations of Dwell and how it is important to make a comfortable home for Christ in us!

  • #6170

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 1-2: The Samaritan woman at the well “was the first person that Jesus publically revealed his identity”. This woman was not only a Samaritan (a group that Jews were not to associate with) but was also a woman who was disowned by her own people as is demonstrated by the fact that she is collecting water by herself at Noon (collecting water was typically done in the morning by all “acceptable” women from the community). Yet it was this woman who was able to convert numerous people from her community despite how her community felt about her.

    • #6924

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      The lecture really brought that story alive. This is an example of how God can use anyone and any situation to further his Kingdom.

    • #7305

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Yes Gary, we all have a past and sometimes it’s not pretty. This example is clearly kingdom reality for us all.

  • #6171

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 3: The professor indicates that “the point of mentoring is not to make someone exactly like you but to have a relational experience in which one person empowers another through sharing God given resources to help another become the best they can be for themselves and for God.” This is further illustration that one can mentor to a wide variety of people.

    • #6927

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      I agree. We can mentor in many different ways and in many different situations as well.

    • #7480

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      This brought back my early “mentoring experiences. I didn’t know any other way to Mentor except the way that I was mentored and in so passing on “my way”, I lost a few mentorees. Time and experience has taught me that the way it was done was not as imprtant as the principle behind it!

    • #7763

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      Being a good mentor is such a generous, unselfish display of devotion and love for our Lord Jesus… with the only motive being to further His kingdom

  • #6180

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 4: The professor indicates that accountability is difficult but healthy and worth pursuing. Our culture would be much better off if it embraced this belief as its current path is to eliminate accountability.

    • #6930

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      You are quite correct. We hide our true selves because we have not been able to trust completely. I have never been able to find someone to enter into a mentor relationship that really meant it. It was always considerably less than a token effort. Such a shame.

    • #7336

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Yes Gary and harder to do as technology puts us in a position to do more things on our own…like who needs a secretary now that we have smart phones in our pockets

  • #6181

    Gary
    Participant

    Jesus was a mentor to his disciples who in turned created the Church that was to follow through such mentoring and teaching. It is all believers task to continue building of the Church.

  • #6182

    Gary
    Participant

    Some guidance and benefits of accountability are: a) to find “safe, trusted Godly individuals that you can be accountable too”. Some benefits of this relationship is that “two are better than one”. You always have someone who can pick you up when you fall and visa versa.

    • #7483

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I’ve always liked Proverbs 27:17…as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another… We need each other to keep each other “sharp”!

  • #6188

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 6. Some interesting points for me:
    1) Our relational depth with God and our spiritual maturity changes all the time depending upon our age and circumstances. Accordingly, we will need different mentors throughout our life, depending on what our needs are at that time.
    2) We should not lose heart because of repeated disappointments (that is hard not to do!).
    3) Cannot move mountains by ourselves-God is the one that does that.

    • #6935

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      I was thinking how great it would be if your spiritual mentor progresses, as we progress, thus enabling him or her to continue being our mentor. In theory that could happen. What a blessing a lifelong relation like that would be.

    • #7394

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Not losing heart hits home hard, and that helps me turn my stubbornness from a weakness into a strength, and passing that on to others with a similar condition

    • #7519

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Moving mountains is what we would like to do sometimes, but it’s good to pray for the mentoree and do our best with him/her and leave the results to God.

  • #6189

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 7. Interesting statement: Mentoring is the true biblical concept and definition of discipleship and it needs to be implemented practically with bible readings, prayer etc.

    • #6937

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      I would love to see mentoring revived as it used to be. Many of us are not willing to give that much of ourselves, meaning both the mentor and the mentoree.

    • #7399

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      That’s why Cheryl homeschools!

    • #7540

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      What better gift can we give than our time to God’s kids that are seeking? I liked that we can share “head and heart knowledge”.

  • #6190

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 8. Info to always remember: Programs are merely tools and their purpose is to lead to relationships and the way the early church was conducted is a good example.

    Learning facts means nothing if they are not integrated into your life.

    We must learn that we have a new status of identity: that we are forgiven through the blood of Christ.

    The Holy Spirit is our guide, not a New Age “spirit guide”.

    • #6943

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      Thank you for that. The things learned and not put into application simply become lost.

    • #7419

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Yes Pat, learning we are forgiven is key

    • #7532

      Cheryldoerfel
      Participant

      Wow! Great summary.

    • #7544

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I liked thinking of the early church and everyone together all the time eating and sharing what they had and listening to Jesus teach. Our lives are just too busy today!

  • #6191

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    Lesson 9. Important to know that the purpose of a mentor/mentoree relationship is to eventually move the mentoree from a state of dependence to independence

    • #6207

      Gary
      Participant

      This allows for the eventual termination of the mentoring relationship since these relationships do not last forever according to the professor.

    • #6946

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      We can probably look back through our lives and see many circumstances where we were either the mentor or mentoree. I really never looked at it that way, until now.

    • #7547

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Again, I like that we can have a model to show us what interdependence looks like! As an independent person who was raised to be able to do it myself, I need to see what that looks like!!

  • #6203

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 6: I especially liked Crosbie’s 8th Commandment: “Thou shalt practice empathy, not sympathy.” You should share someone’s feelings rather than feel sorry for them.

    • #7393

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Yes, that’s especially true when people we are close to go through very difficult times. Feeling sorry for them doesn’t help a bit when they really want our understanding

      • #7518

        MeriLynn
        Participant

        Excellent way to put it, Tom!

  • #6204

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 10: I enjoyed the professor’s use of common examples, such as his experience in learning to use a router for woodworking, as a method of illustrating the benefits of teacher-student mentorship.

  • #6205

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 11: Discusses approach of mentoring relationship and how it relates to achieving a balance with the lives of those involved.

  • #6206

    Gary
    Participant

    An extremely important point mentioned by the professor is the importance of confidentiality in the mentoring relationship. Although some people don’t care if you share information about them because they “wear their lives on their shirt sleeves” as it is, others are very private and would not like you sharing any information, even some that might appear harmless, with anyone. They would consider a breach in confidentiality as a betrayal and it would be destructive if it occurred.

    • #7484

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Yes, it’s good to know someone so well in the mentoring situation that you would know not to share something! I think we all need that “safe” person that we can share our situations and innermost feelings with and know that it will go no further.

  • #6225

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 12: The fact that books can be a method of mentoring is encouraging. Books can be greatly helpful to those that enjoy reading or that may not have ready access to mentors: e.g. those in rural areas, work late shifts, elderly or handicap people that cannot easily connect with others, etc.

  • #6226

    Gary
    Participant

    Lesson 12: A great life lesson was illustrated by how some executives are able to successfully deal with stressful situations. They dealt with stressful situations through 3 prevailing attributes:
    1) View obstacles as a challenge instead of a threat. View them as problems to be solved rather than obstacles that are to be overrun by. This allows dealing with obstacles in a constructive fashion.
    2) Demonstrate commitment instead of denial. Do not deny the existence of a problem or sweep it under a rug, rather face and address the problem.
    3) Maintain and exhibit control rather than helplessness. Implement problem solving strategy; engage subject matter experts to help with the situation, etc.
    Viewing the situation as hopeless ensures defeat. Rather work on a solution and get things moving to solve the problem.
    This is all great advice for dealing with any major issue in our everyday life.

    • #6309

      patriciakuhn
      Participant

      Would be great if we all did stop when in a stressful situation and apply these attributes.

    • #6952

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      Interesting that only 7 % were able to do this. I would not go so far to say that I was able to do this all the time. I did have many stressful times no matter how I viewed or approached them. I would have to say that the number one stress relief for me was God. Without him I could not have done anything. I give him all the credit and all the glory. All things accomplished were by God through me.

    • #7603

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I agree, Gary. I think those three guidelines would help us not only run the race to the end, but make the journey more enjoyable too!

      • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  MeriLynn.
  • #6255

    RBosic
    Participant

    Lesson 1, Jesus taught his disciples the importance of being a servant and as usual he mentors through example.

    Lesson 2, Joshua learned a very valuable lesson from Moses and we can also benefit from it as we are learning more and more about Victory and Defeat is in the hands of the Lord. Through prayer and belief that all things are possible through the Lord it is imperative to trust in the Lord and follow his word.

    Lesson 3, Mentoring in such a way that you get to know the person well enough to draw his personal attributes out and then build on them.

    Lesson 4, The reference about the blind man that needed a second touch by Jesus to see clearly. I find this inspirational because if we apply it to ourselves and we don’t understand what we think the Lord is saying we can prayerfully ask for his help in understanding and if we do not get a response it may just be like we learned in Spiritual Warfare that the thought was placed in our mind by the enemy.

    Lesson 5, Criticism was referenced a lot as being counterproductive and it is evident in all areas of our lives so I would hope that we can use this portion of the lesson as a reminder of why it should be used.

    Lesson 6, As a mentor you are constantly being watched so you must lead by example.

    Lesson 7, I found the three types of functions that can be used by mentors very helpful and well described by Dr. Wise.

    Lesson 8, The Holy Spirit has has been our guide throughout the ages and nothing has changed in that respect.

    Lesson 9, It was encouraging to see that there is also room for the occasional level of mentoring for those that are busy but still wants to stay involved in God’s work through the Holy Spirit.

    Lesson 10, 11, & 12 combines the use of books, personal life experiences which brings the subject down to a level of easy understanding as well as using the life examples of executives added a timely conclusion to this topic in The Art of Mentoring. I have personally reflected on the many examples that Pastor Steve frequently uses about our lower keys and ties it to a biblical point making it very easy to understand. Prior to this church I have never heard any pastor in my previous church bring the Bible to life in such a meaningful way. Which is why I have never returned to my prior church and why I am here in this program learning more about our roles in doing the Lords work.
    IN CLOSING, THANK YOU PASTOR STEVE FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OUR COMMUNITY.

    • #7445

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I love how you caught up all in “one fell swoop”, Robert! I’m just getting started after Mom’s hip surgery (we are in Pompano).

      • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  MeriLynn.
    • #7536

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      That’s a mouthful! I’m also hoping we can stay in this community for a very long time for the same reasons.

  • #6292

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    LESSON 10. I liked that it explained under the occasional level and the role of a teacher mentor, that mentorees have different learning styles, so as a mentor you must determine what that style is and be able to teach in that style in order to be effective.

    • #7563

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Or perhaps, suggest a Mentor more suited for the mentoree. Without attraction, it wouldn’t work out anyway and what usually attracts mentorees is the way that a Mentor does things.

  • #6293

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    LESSON 11. It was interesting the way Dr. Wise explained the Balanced Approach, especially concerning having 3 dimensional balance:
    1) Up or vertical is when you are the mentoree
    2) Downward is when you are the mentor
    3) Horizontal or sideways is when we are mentoring each other as peers

    When you think of each relationship you are involved in, you can see which one applies.

    • #7454

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Yes and balance is another way of saying moderation in everything

  • #6310

    patriciakuhn
    Participant

    LESSON 12. I agree that books are a powerful mentor. The book that we read “The Kingdom of God” gave me answers to many questions that I have had and I could then pass the information on to others as well as recommend the book to many people.

    • #7535

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      As we continue our studies, both reading books and listening to lectures has been great. One of my greatest mentors while raising our first group of youngsters in WNY was Dr. Dobson from Focus On The Family. What a great model for mentoring, and I could listen to him every morning on my way to work…and try many different methods of parenting depending on our child’s learning abilitities and personality.

  • #6919

    sheilawiedenheft
    Participant

    LESSON 1

    This lesson has made me think of all the people who have touched my life in the past, and those who still continue to do so, by encouraging me , setting an example sharing knowledge, there experience in this area if they have had any, at times even correction. How I never really thought of them as mentors. How simple it is to just encourage someone or and share a little experience strength and hope in a situation you may have been through yourself.

    • #7448

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Amen, Sheila!!

  • #6922

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 2 I didn’t look at Moses and Joshua as a mentoring situation. It is interesting to see it from that perspective. Moses was committed to Joshua as his mentor.

  • #6923

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 1 Jesus is the ultimate Mentor. Through the Holy Spirit, prayer, and examples given in the Bible, we are given all we need to be mentored.

  • #6926

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 3 The examples of Biblical mentoring show the mentor and mentored develop an extremely close relationship, such as a pastor and assistant pastor might have. I think it would be difficult to be involved in so close a relationship as Moses and Joshua but maybe not so for a relationship like Paul and Timothy. They were on separate journeys often and caught up on things when they reunited. I have mentored people in the business world and, even then, much time and effort were required. Of course we all know that mentoring can be sometimes, part time, occasionally or as often and long as both parties can allow. I think in many ways we have all experienced mentoring on one level or another. Typically, this provides a long lasting relationship, even after the mentoring is over.

    • #7481

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      One of the beautiful “perks” of mentoring!!

  • #6928

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 4 As stated by Dr. Weiss, Accountability is necessary and good for the good for the glory of God. This is something that is easy to understand but difficult to put into application. Honesty and openness are qualities difficult to nearly impossible to find in all of us. We tend to play our cards close to our chest and only reveal issues that do not expose our inner self too much. I have friends including married couples that know each other on a platonic and shallow way because of fear to open up and be completely open. it is difficult to heal and grow with protected minimized relationships.

    • #7335

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Wow, that’s so true

  • #6929

    bchiagouris
    Participant

    Lesson 1A
    I appreciate Dr. Wise two schools of thought on mentoring. One who is an expert in a specific field with an array of knowledge can certainly be an asset to an individual searching to sharpen their skills in those specific areas; while any child of God who has been walking with the Lord and involved in Christian ministry is also someone who can benefit the mentoree in bringing out their Godly attributes.

    • #7449

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Well said, Pastor Barry :). I am always drawn to those who share their mentoring in a practical way… In real life experiences. I have sought after expertise in a certain field, but it is good to know that God can use our experiences for good either way!

  • #6931

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 5 I believe criticism should be constructive and sandwiched between two compliments or encouragements. Constructive criticism should be moderate, given with love, kindness and patience. Constructive criticism should also include positive alternatives which provide positive outcomes.

  • #6932

    bchiagouris
    Participant

    Lesson 2

    I remember taking a class on mentoring from Atlantic Coast Bible College and I thought it would be of interest to our students to explain the origin of the term mentoring:
    The story of Mentor comes from Homer’s Odyssey. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, fights in the Trojan War and entrusts the care of his household to Mentor, who serves as teacher and overseer of Odysseus’ son, Telemachus.

    After the war, Odysseus is condemned to wander vainly for ten years in his attempt to return home. In time, Telemachus, now grown, ventures in search of his father. Athena, Goddess of War and patroness of the arts and industry, assumes the form of Mentor and accompanies Telemachus on his quest. Father and son reunite and cast down would-be usurpers of Odysseus’ throne and Telemachus’s birthright.

    The word Mentor evolved to mean trusted advisor, friend, teacher and wise person. History offers many examples of helpful mentoring relationships: Socrates and Plato, Hayden and Beethoven, Freud and Jung. Mentoring is a fundamental form of human development where one person invests time, energy and personal know-how in assisting the growth and ability of another person. I thought our students would like to read this:)

    • #7301

      Cheryldoerfel
      Participant

      I liked the example from The Odyssey. I’ve been through it a few times with the kids and never made that connection. Mentors are so important in our kids’ lives (and ours). It helps so much. It makes me think how selfish I am with my time and could be using it other ways.

    • #7464

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      That was very interesting, Barry. I love your definition of Mentor and will strive to be all those things to my mentorees! Thank you… I enjoyed reading this!

  • #6934

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 6 Choosing the right mentor is like choosing the right employee for the job. If employees, like mentors, are there for the wrong reasons and or have hidden agendas, neither relationship will work out. I found the advice given to be sound, solid and applicable to many areas of life. When we make significant choices we need to spend the time necessary to make sure the anticipated outcome has a reasonable chance to come to fruition.

    • #7520

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I agree… Good choices (mentors, mentorees and even friends) really do apply in all aspects of life… Quick choices that don’t pan out can lead to frustration and worse!!

    • #7764

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      And praying for Gods guidance in that choice is key

  • #6936

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 7 The end result from an intensive level of mentoring seems to provide a bond that we all yearn for. Mentoring, as stated, goes all the way back into the Old testament. What a shame we do not place a higher value on this process. We are the true losers here.

    • #6940

      bchiagouris
      Participant

      I don’t believe mentoring has to be a lost art. I know that at the Vineyard there are many opportunities to mentor and be a positive influence in others lives. Our infinity groups, ministry and prayer team; and weekly fellowship offers many avenues to get involved in others lives. I think it begins with prayer in asking God each day to bring people in our lives that we can minister to and be a mentor.

      • #6944

        coopertlc123
        Participant

        Thank you for your response. As discussed by Dr. Wise in lesson 11, the group type situations inhibits sharing and truly opening up. My comments were more aimed at the intensive level, the one on one or very small circles, for accountability. I also am not talking about any church specifically, but many churches have group activities and learning situations. It seems to me that for the most part, it stops there. Too many of us are too busy; or not confident enough; or simply unwilling to allow anyone to get too close, to embrace intensive level mentoring.

      • #7446

        tomdoerfel
        Participant

        You can say that again Barry! I constantly pray God will put the right people in my life on a daily basis no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I’m no longer surprised at the frequent occurrences of “divine encounters” and the practice of giving God the glory for all we do…the charisma in how we live.

  • #6938

    bchiagouris
    Participant

    Lesson 10 I thought it was a good reminder to us all how others, especially the younger generation are watching us and learning from us in journey with God.
    Even though we may not be directly involved in their lives and take a passive role, they are still identifying with our attitudes and reactions. What a great responsibility set before us, but thanks be to God who leads us in His triumph as we set Godly examples to those in our lives.

    • #6948

      coopertlc123
      Participant

      You said it. We are being watched by many. It seems like every time I witness to someone they start watching me more closely. I worked with a guy for ten years who decided one day that spiritually I didn’t measure up. He was not a Christian and decided I did not have the right to witness to him because his definition being a Christian did not coincide with how I lived my life. I had no idea he was watching me so close. I don’t think it was my lifestyle, he was looking for an excuse, but the point is, we are being watched.

    • #7444

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      That’s for sure Barry, and I’m hoping they see how real God is…in both our strengths and weaknesses

  • #6939

    bchiagouris
    Participant

    Lessson 5
    I believe constructive criticism is extremely important as long as it is given with much prayer and thought on how it is to be delivered. There are tactful ways to initiate criticism; and it should always begin with positive reinforcement and encouragement. I remember playing music in my younger days with an extremely accomplished musician and friend. My playing had a lot to be desired, but within months after playing with her and listening to her sound advice, I improved greatly. She was never condescending or rude, but always complimentary and at the same time very constructive in her delivery. She was a great Mentor and still is in others lives.

    • #7487

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      I agree, Barry. Constructive criticism delivered in love and concern (where the receiver can literally feel where it is coming from) is a very helpful thing. Unfortunately, there are always those who, no matter how you pray over your delivery and give the news “gently”, take it the wrong way. It’s more to do with them and their egos or insecurities than with your delivery. It’s hard to work with someone like that. Occasionally I have been able to break through., but more often than not, I’ve had to suggest they look for another Mentor…with me as a backup… until they find one!

  • #6942

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 8 The occasional level mentor should give timely and appropriate advice. I think this happens often between friends and close associates, without the intentions of mentoring. When the intentions are good this is a positive thing. If hidden agendas are present, the advice generally causes anger, resentment, and or pain. In cases like this, you have to qualify the occasional mentor in a split second to determine how to receive the advice.

  • #6945

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 9 The coach mentor parallels athletic coaching. I think back to my athletic coaches and realize some of them were on target and many weren’t. Criticism and bullying tactics were the dominate motivating methods utilized by most of my athletic coaches. Mentoring should be part of the curriculum for all teachers and coaches. Those who used encouragement, as their method of coaching, were much more effective in the long run.

    • #7443

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Wow, that stinks about your poor coaches as mine were mostly the opposite which lined up well with our studies.

  • #6947

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 10 The passive level of mentoring is interesting in that we could call all self study passive mentoring. The historical, meaning the mentor has died, is equally interesting in that you can still mentor after you have passed on. Moses, Joshua, David and many other Biblical personalities are still mentoring us today. That is pretty cool.

  • #6949

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 11 Dr. Wise said the mentor and mentoree need to agree upon the goals of the relationship. I think that is true for many types of relationships. Especially professional relationships. If this was done in the interview process, we would make a lot better decisions about who we chose to work with us.

    • #7453

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Good point, and that is one of the reasons people choose to be self employed.

    • #7578

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      If we would do that with prospective spouses, marriages would be stronger and last longer!

  • #6951

    coopertlc123
    Participant

    Lesson 12 I can relate to the study of executives. I would go a step further and say that the majority of material covered in “The Art of Mentoring” parallels running and managing a business. The principles are truths that if applied, increase the potential for success. It really is amazing in that I have taught much of this material to my management staff. I have to say that truths are truths no matter what their application is intended for, they are relevant.

    • #7534

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      Isn’t it funny how good old fashioned Christian principles work wonders in the work place! The opposite is true with Psychobabble and tons of layered middle management that results in people not being accountable.

  • #7233

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 1

    It was interesting to remember people who have mentored me, and at the time I didn’t really know it. That makes me think about people that I am mentoring, and what a responsibility it is.

    • #7304

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      You can say that again!

  • #7300

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 2

    What a good point and reminder, to rely on God for victory and success. Our wisdom is no match for His. Also, the part about fear, that we need to focus on God’s ability, power, and promises rather than situations. I need to remind myself of that every day.

    • #7316

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      You can remind me too!

  • #7303

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Mentoring 1:

    Being vulnerable hit home in a very encouraging way. In the past, my thinking was more about being in a place of security…home, work, play. Now, it’s all about decisions being filtered through our sense of purpose and our divine encounters.

  • #7306

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 3

    I found the accountability part the most interesting, how we don’t mind others being accountable to us, but we really don’t want to be accountable to someone else. What a good reminder that we should remind ourselves everyday, that we are accountable for EVERYTHING we do.

    • #7329

      tomdoerfel
      Participant

      That’s a good way to start the day…wanting to be accountable to others encourages healthy decision making

  • #7315

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 2:

    formally learning these principles that have already been both confirmed in The Word and put into practice with many of our boys is amazing

  • #7328

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 3:

    Knowing Jesus is our model for mentoring, seeing how Moses and Elijah not only weren’t perfect but noting the difference that Joshua had a compatable personality with Moses and Elisha’s personality was very different from Elijah’s was encouraging to me. Also, the fact that we aren’t as accountable to each other culturally is true, but I thought how cool it is that pastor Steve created a devise like this forum to keep us accountable to our bible college’s best professor! 👍😎

    • #7737

      douglasleps
      Participant

      Tom, I totally agree. Just because someone has a different personality than ours is not a deal breaker when it comes to a Mentoring relationship. In fact it may be just what is needed!

  • #7334

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 4:

    I’ve experienced seasons of spiritual mentoring on both sides and it is a well planned, direct use of time. To answer his question of whether a Barnabus, Timothy, and Paul are in my life right now is no…on a daily or even weekly level…and quite frankly a little disappointing. Looking forward on our test questions, there are different levels or seasons of mentoring that I’m looking forward to studying and trying to implement…wanting to be more than just an occasional mentor or mentoree.

  • #7357

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 5:

    Good vs bad mentoring and the examples given brings me face to face with a gut check from my past and present condition. Raising our musical family around mostly older people gave me a good taste of what it’s like to move forward making wise choices. It didn’t really matter if these older mentors did things in their life the right way or the wrong way, the point is that many came from large families and they could pass on their wisdom of whether they did it right or wrong…which helped us tremendously.

    Poor mentoring was also quite obvious as the older people who embraced change were vibrant people and great to be around…a certain charisma. The opposite was true of the older people who would do anything to prevent change, and were quite frankly, very discouraging to be around.

    • #7486

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      You are right, Tom. I love to be around vibrant people with life experiences to share! But it tends to drag us backwards when people are stuck in their ways and don’t even want to consider something new. My son calls them “Debbie Downers” LOL.

    • #7741

      douglasleps
      Participant

      Good point Tom, and one I almost forgot about…. Sometimes a bad Mentor (as long as you understand that) can be a good reminder if how we DONT want to behave. It takes all types to make us weho we are today.

  • #7392

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 6:

    I like the title…the art of mentoring. And like Dr Wise’s artist illustration between he and his wife, deciding the when’s, who’s, and how’s on both sides of mentoring takes not only decisive action, but just as important a good dose of God’s providence or favor.

  • #7398

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 7 confirmed my observations of most churches missing the mark. I’ve personally served in 7 different home churches and our family music ministry has been involved with maybe 100 other church functions from many different denominations to validate that point. The many different types and levels of mentoring is both encouraging and very practical, and is making me more aware of the importance of actively being both a mentor and a mentoree not only in a spiritual sense but at home, work, and play. It’s been many years since my last spiritual intensive mentoring relationship, while I continue to be involved in a couple of occasional and passive ones.

    • #7765

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      I can relate to what you’re saying Tom and these lessons are resurfacing those very fond memories of those very much cherished and valued “Intensive” Mentoring relationships

  • #7417

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 8 was a nice outline for giving technical terms to common sense approaches of mentoring people at different spiritual stages of life. It’s encouraging me as I plug my personal relationships into his formulas.

  • #7440

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    I liked the phrase “influence to empower.” Encourage. Teaching someone is different than telling them what to do. I also like how he says if your mentor relationship is not working you should talk to him, and if nothing changes, “graciously back out.”

  • #7442

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 9&10

    Dr Wise’s outline of occasional and passive mentoring was more practical for me to put into practice. He mentioned zeroing in on specific areas we need help with, and for me, that also resonated with my prayer life. Just this weekend, I met one of our musical mentors from over a decade ago who showed me his iPhone lists of people and things to do. That was exactly what I need help with… 😎

    • #7538

      Cheryldoerfel
      Participant

      Yup, zeroing in on specific skills is good.

  • #7450

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 1- Mentoring

    I love that Mentoring is a “relational experience”…probably because I love people! How wonderful it is to reach a hand out to one of God’s precious kids and help them experience all that God has for them. I totally agree with “living out” our Kingdom Values as a model for others… It does make us attractive to those seeking help and opens the door to Mentoring. Jesus gave us the perfect model to follow…he taught with his life as he lived it out for his disciples …and though it isn’t always easy, we can become good Mentors because of His Grace. Sharing my “experience, strength and hope” have become a way of life for me so I am excited to learn more about it!

  • #7452

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 11

    This lesson made me extremely thankful that Cheryl homeschooled…with mentoring being the very foundation

    • #7577

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      Totally agree, Tom. Proverbs 22:6 is one of my favorites and though I didn’t homeschool, I was certainly involved in their activities and homework and also with the youth group to keep them on track!

    • #7792

      douglasleps
      Participant

      Yes Tom, in that aspect you are very lucky. Some of us unfortunately were not walking the Christian walk when our kids were younger. For that I will be forever regretful. But thankfully I am trying to make up for lost time by being an example of a Good Christian now for my daughter.

  • #7465

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 2 – Mentoring

    “Joshua had matured and spoke wisely, confidently, accurately…he had the strong confidence in God needed to be a leader”. I never gave much thought to the relationship between Moses and Joshua, and yet, Moses had taken him under his wing and look how far Joshua was able to go because he was a willing and eager student. I’m sure every mentor yearns for one like that and Moses must have been very pleased. I love the passage where Joshua was “lingering at the tent” because he wanted a relationship with God. I feel that way sometimes at church… I feel His presence and I just don’t want to leave…sometimes I “linger” until the 3rd service when I got there for the 8am!! I also like that we build a relationship, allowing our mentorees to try their wings while we are close and that we stand by them as Moses did with Joshua.

  • #7482

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 3 – Mentoring

    I loved the “symbolism” of Elijah throwing his “mantle” on Elisha…taking him under his wing, so to speak. I admired Elisha’s wanting to kiss his parents and then making a complete break from his family by sacrificing the animals… though I wondered how his parents would get along without them! That they were so different was also interesting!
    I always loved reading about the relationship that Paul and Timothy had. Timothy was Paul’s “son” and I can only imagine how Paul praised God for him, worried about him, longed for his return, and took pride in Timothy’s accomplishments for Timothy’s sake and for the Glory of God.
    Mentoring is such an honor… Passing forward all the knowledge and wisdom that has been learned over time means that it is not wasted and God can continue to use it all for good. Learning from each other and helping each other forms a tight bond as you get to know each other so well…it does “feel” like family. The concept of accountably is so important. No, it doesn’t feel good sometimes, but how are we to stay on track and continue to learn?
    The last part of the lesson of 2Timothy 3:1-5 always causes me to pause. That certainly describes our world right now. We seem to be in a time of chaos and ungodliness … No better time then the present to learn, grow, spread the Gospel, and be accountable!!

  • #7485

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 4 – Mentoring

    Accountability is a Biblical concept that is good for us. I enjoyed reading all those names and who they were accountable to at the beginning of this lesson! I also liked that the professor said that not everyone has the right to be your mentor. Truly, unless you trust…and that by observing their accountability with others and their “walk”, you do not stand a chance of sharing your cares, concerns, and questions with them. I’m sure that the mentoring process starts slowly as you learn over time that your mentor is trustworthy and if they are a “good fit” before you begin to get to the stuff that you share in confidentiality. To have someone in your life, like the professor suggested, like a Barnabas …an encourager that can be patient and tolerant as you grow to your potential, is such a gift from God. To pass that on to your own Timothy is a great honor and a challenge and in doing so, you learn so much more about yourself and you grow in wisdom and knowledge! And to have an Epaphraditus…a cohort..a peer with whom to share it all with and to help weed through the tough spots, is priceless!
    I loved the story of the blind man in Mark 8:23-25. Jesus touched him and he saw, but not clearly… He needed a “second touch”. How many of us have needed a second touch? I know I have and it inspires me to have patience and tolerance with others! I am the person that I am today because of some great encouragers! As he said, positive influence can be life changing! I liked the analogy of Mentoring and parenting… Allowing them to make mistakes in order to grow! I liked that we are to be encouragers where we see honest potential. Remembering to tell your mentoree that God has given them special gifts and helping them find what that might be is really the truth of it all. scripture tells us that we are to encourage one another and build one another up in the faith. It is so encouraging just to be a part of that!

  • #7491

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 5 – Mentoring

    I liked to see the 5 aspects of being a good mentor in print. The first one, the ability to see the potential in another person, is so important. Again, what a great honor to help another of God’s kids be everything that He had in mind when He created them! I feel blessed that God created in me a patience and tolerance for His kids as well. I don’t always have patience with a situation and I’ve been known to be intolerant of places and things, but rarely people. Unfortunately, that’s gotten me into a “pickle” or two in retrospect! Pealing off unhealthy (or toxic) people can be difficult and over time, I have gotten better at not getting held “captive”… But I believe that He uses me for His purposes and so I do put myself out there! The other qualities of a good mentor come with time and practice, I believe.
    I appreciated reading the qualities of a bad mentor as well. I experienced both! I’ve jumped in over my head with not enough time and I’ve also had to “graciously back out”. Again, it was good to hear this particular lesson and very good to read it in print! Above all else, be a good encourager… It’s amazing what can happen in someone else’s life when they are told they can do something and that you believe in them!

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  MeriLynn.
  • #7521

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 6 – Mentoring

    There was so much good material in this lesson! I really liked John Crosbie’s Ten Commandments for Mentors. I have been guilty of at least two and didn’t realize it. I think the “mothering” thing was the hardest for me to avoid because I didn’t pick my mentoree wisely. They were looking for “safe” and, of course, didn’t really want to do the work! Those mentorsships did not last long and over time I have learned to “see it coming” and quickly disengage! The other was in “moving mountains”! I was bound and determined to help them get there and they didn’t necessarily want to go! I always gave God the credit for anything that was accomplished, but I was a stubborn encourager and have literally chased people off…who, by the way, went looking for someone they could “get over on”. It is a fine line so I really appreciated hearing that we should look for a mentoree that shares in our philosophies and be more selective in checking their motives. It is so much easier to model what you actual live out in your daily walk!
    My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. I do try to live that on a daily basis and when I do, it makes life so much easier!
    I also liked the 6 points for finding a Mentor. Prayer needs to be first, but respect Must be very high on the list!

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  MeriLynn.
  • #7529

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 6

    I liked the 10 commandments of a mentor. Listening, in one way is the easiest thing to do, and the hardest. I think my personality wants to fix things, but listening is probably what’s needed.

    • #7750

      douglasleps
      Participant

      So true Cheryl, listening…. Easy and difficult At the same time…. And yet SO VERY IMPORTANT!
      Something I need to work on.

  • #7530

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 7

    There are three levels of mentoring; intensive, occasional, and passive. I liked the statement: Mentoring is discipleship.

  • #7531

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 8

    Spiritual check-ups with a spiritual guide are good for times when you have the spiritual blues. There are differences between a disciple and a spiritual guide. The relationship of a spiritual guide is more intense.

    • #7769

      douglasleps
      Participant

      So true Cheryl. We all need regular Spiritual Check ups. And as I see it, the Spiritual Guide seems to take over once the disciples has laid a solid Christian foundation.

  • #7533

    tomdoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 12

    Dr Wise obviously loves reading like we love music. I like the impact his poem had and enjoy watching God use our music to do the same. The course was a thorough outline and helped my perspective on where others are at.

  • #7537

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 9

    A coach, under the intensive heading, does many things. He inspires, encourages, gives feedback and resources, motivates, instills confidence, and helps apply skills. He can supply observation, feedback, and evaluation. His goal is to move a mentored from dependence to independence, so that mentorees learn to live and work with each other in Christian community.

    • #7546

      MeriLynn
      Participant

      This is a great summation, Cheryl… Like Tom has said in the past, you are an excellent note taker 🙂

  • #7542

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 7 – Mentoring

    This was an interesting lesson. I never considered that there were different types of mentoring before. I assumed that all were “intensive” but it makes sense that, depending on the mentoree and what they wish to obtain from their Mentors, that “occasional” and “passive” could be used as well.
    I did like understanding the dynamics that are vital to a mentoring relationship. I have chosen Mentors because there were things about them that were attractive and I “wanted what they had”. Of course, responsiveness makes sense because the mentoree (or myself) would have to be willing with a positive attitude for learning and action. Accountability, I believe, is extremely important. It keeps mentorees achieving and let’s the Mentor know that their time is not wasted and that the mentoree is progressing. I didn’t know that Discipleship is a relational process. I assumed it was a “teacher-student” situation. Helping a mentoree to build a strong foundation by spending time discussing things and showing or modeling things for them makes more sense to me now! I liked the part of his lecture that said they “learn about sin, but they learn to recognize it and confess it with their Mentors and that requires accountability”. Helping them to grow and change and develope is the job of a good Mentor.
    The last part about dysfunctional families and fractured relationships really made me sad. We have so much of that in this world…even in our churches. For Mentorees to find a Mentor and begin a relationship of trust in a loving environment is such a necessary part for those of us who are seeking to be used by God!

  • #7545

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 8 – Mentoring

    I like that we have Programs to get people interested in learning more about the Lord and having a templet to follow for a church to grow, but I totally agree that they are but tools and the best thing about church and evangelism are the relationships we form there. I really enjoy the discussion portion of our Sunday class as we talk about what we’ve learned or get questions answered. People are so interesting and unique and I would not know some of them except for that class.
    I often pray for people that are still “striving for God’s approval”. There is such a feeling of victory when we fully realize that we are forgiven and that God is FOR us! Integrating what we learn from a Mentor into our own lives…by studying with them but mostly by them modeling it for us…is truly the key.
    I liked seeing the differences between Discipler and Spiritual Guide. I have a Spiritual Guide and it reminded me that we have that meeting time and quiet time and that it is okay. Sometimes I feel guilty for not involving her more! The Spiritual Checkup is a great idea! “Spiritual Guides are wonderful, normal people who have a deep walk with the Lord and deal mainly with crucial moments in our walk”. That made me realize that I’m blessed to have someone like that in my life…and until now, I couldn’t give that person a “name”!

    • #7772

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      I love reading your comments Meri Lynn. You are so insightful and thorough. I’ve had the pleasure of watching you grow since the beginning and you have such a healthy strong grasp of all you learn. You my friend are a great mentor.

      • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Roberta Leps.
  • #7548

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 9 – Mentoring

    A review on the first two “intensive” mentoring techniques reminds us of what it meant to Disciple young Christians into being dependent and to find or be a good Spiritual Guide. Learning to be interdependent is working in relationship with others in our church…we need each other and need to learn to work together and love one another.
    Coaching is a very responsible and time consuming job. To take someone “under your wing” and encourage them and help them accomplish new and challenging goals for the Glory of God would be a very fulfilling thing to do. I have had a “life coach” in my history and it was so wonderful to know that I was not alone as I struggled toward the goal.
    Seeking wise counsel is something that we don’t always think of when we are in the middle of a tough situation, but finding that unbiased individual to trust is so important. I loved all the Proverbs the professor gave as an example and I was impressed with the counsel that Jethro gave to Moses. Oh that we all would consider the concept of sharing the load!

    • #7776

      douglasleps
      Participant

      MeriLynn, How true that it would be nice if we could always remember to seek wise counsel and not try to figure it out on our own! we are all works in progress.

  • #7564

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 10 – Mentoring

    “God doesn’t move in a vacuum”. I love that God uses people, circumstances, and things in our lives that move us from where we are to where He wants us to be! I love that I am a work in progress as every time I recognize that He has orchestrated something for my benefit, it makes me love Him more and trust Him more!!
    A Councelor, or teacher/mentor, can give us knowledge and accountability. Those that do it with enthusiasm can inspire and empower us to grow, but it works best when we find one for a specific need.
    A Sponsor can help us to move up in an organization or church by seeing the potential in us. They will selflessly point us in the right direction, introduce us to people in their network of relationships and delight in our growth in Christ. All good gifts come from God and it is wise to remember that even in these kinds of relationships, God has a plan for our lives.
    The Passive Mentor is probably the one that most of us use the most. Being attracted to how a person lives and walks out their faith…living or not…can be studied by modeling your life after theirs or by reading about them and using their lives as a model. The best example is Jesus as we read The Word and try to be more like Him!

    • #7571

      Cheryldoerfel
      Participant

      I look back at persons, strong Christians, who have been mentors to our kids. There were a few in Branson for the short time we were there. It was encouraging to see/know/learn from exciting, cool, successful, fun Chrsitians, whose faith was alive and they were living it every day. They were active and involved in life and in their communities. So greatful for where we are now too.

  • #7570

    Cheryldoerfel
    Participant

    Lesson 10

    I agree with his statement about identifying and trainng leaders in your organization. We’ve gone to too many churches where people don’t want anything to change. Things can’t stay the same. They either grow or stagnate. Training future leaders keeps things growing and alive.

    Thank you so much Pastor Steve, for all you do!

  • #7579

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 11 – Mentoring

    Balance is the Key to a healthy life! I agree that we need to surround ourselves with Mentors, mentorees, and peers. It helps us to maintain a teachable spirit. I feel blessed to have “horizontal mentoring” in my life. It brings the 3 dimensional balance that the Professor speaks of… Honest sharing, mutual encouragement, and loving accountability. I liked the 6 points of forming a mentor/mentoree relationship and his description of them and the “designing and relating to adults” was very helpful as well. Adults want to have some control and play a bigger role in how they learn, experience things and reach their goals.
    I liked that he discussed the most regular and routine mentoring that occurs in homes. My husband and I have imparted a bit of each of our experiences and knowledge to each other over the years and it keeps our marriage fresh and growing. Mentoring our children was a bit of a challenge as our childhood experiences were so vastly different, but I believe the kids benefited in the long run by being able to experience a wider scope of knowledge and, especially in the later years, a model of a loving Christian couple that had their best interest at heart and raised them to love God and have tolerance and compassion for His kids.

  • #7605

    MeriLynn
    Participant

    Lesson 12 – Mentoring

    The professor speaks so lovingly about books and he and his wife’s Christmas gifts to each other that it made me smile. “Motivation, inspiration and learning in books” …reading…is powerful and important. I was thinking about how much I read as a child and young person and slowly got too busy and out of the habit and how much I have enjoyed these series and the books we have read. Now it dawns on me that I haven’t read a “fiction” book in forever! But I have recaptured the joy of reading!
    I enjoyed learning about the three guidelines for CEO’s and “finishing the race”. It is about attitude!! Viewing obstacles as challenges and doing something (not denying) the problem and figuring out how to deal with them is something that I deal with as a business owner often. It took a few years to realize that I couldn’t turn a blind eye and expect it to go away, but now that I understand that, I can usually see it coming and “head it off at the pass” with employees especially! I always remember that we need to use “truth in love” when facing relationship situations. It has served me well over the years!
    I am glad that God gave me a bright spirit. I can laugh at myself. It has taken me longer to learn how to play though and I realize now how important exercise is in terms of releasing stress. My social network is far better as well and they truly have helped me weather the storms of life.
    I enjoyed his take on Mentoring in the ministry. I’m sure that Pastor Steve has taken this course or one like it as we are doing the things in our church that the professor mentioned. It was wonderful to see the purpose and plan in all of it at work at the Vineyard!
    I also loved the part about Dwelling and that we need to make Christ comfortable in his home in us. Beautiful thought. We need a strong “inner man” as God looks at the heart, not the outer appearances.
    This was a very good series of lessons and I enjoyed them and learned a lot. Thank you for all you do, Pastor Steve! According to this, we, as a church, are on the right track! May God continue to bless us Mightily!!

  • #7736

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #3
    I found it interesting how Mentoring is found throughout the Bible, both Old and New Testament.
    Moses and Joshua, Elisha and Elijaha, and then Paul and Timothy.
    All the relationships were different. Some led very similar lives, while others like Elisha and Elijaha were very different. But all examples show the two sided, mutually beneficial relationship that Mentoring brings.

  • #7738

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Testing testing….. is this thing on?!

  • #7739

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #4
    In today’s world it seems as if no one is accountable for anything anymore! So not only as mentors, but as Christians it is imperative to hold one another accountable for the Kingdom of God. The disciples were accountable to Jesus, Jesus was accountable to God, and the list if mentor / mentee’s goes on.
    A mentor loves you and wants to see you succeed and what’s best for you. A mentor brings about courage, strength, and encouragement. A good mentor / mentee’s relationship must be safe, have confidentiality, accountability, patience, and ability to see potential. Just as Jesus saw potential in others, so should we.

  • #7740

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #5
    What a great lesson! I never thought of myself as a Mentor, but during my years as a GM, I actually mentored many employees. I remember early on in my career reading a book suggested to me by my Food & Beverage Director “How to win friends and Influence People” and how it molded my management style. Now all these years later I’m looking forward to both being a Mentor and mentoree. I try to live up to the 5 characteristics of a good mentor by seeing a person’s potential, being patient, building up others, having perspective, and being an information resource. I have had several good mentors during my life and now that a new chapter of my life has begun, the beginning of a new Mentor relationship has begun to grow. I look forward to the new journey!

  • #7749

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #6
    How true it is not only in the mentor/mentoree relatuonship, but in everyday life…. Thgats it tske 10 positive comments to undue the effect of 1 negative! What a great guideline for success as a mentor ..” The 10 Commandments”
    Unfortunately I’ve broken a few on more than one occasion!
    I pray everyday, but why didn’t I ever think about praying for the right mentor?? Thanks!
    And also the idea of several mentors at the same time is something I’d like to consider.
    Forget the idea of one stop shopping!

  • #7751

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    Testing

  • #7752

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Lesson 3
    I loved this lecture and its mentoring examples given from the old testament between Moses and Joshua to the new testament with Jesus to his disciples. Ultimately I believe Jesus is our mentor through his Word and the Holy Spirit.
    I really value mentor/mentoree relationships with its love, dedication, accountability, sharing of knowledge and experience, and the fulfillment it brings to both parties, mainly due to the fact that I have been blessed with a couple very cherished Christian mentors, but I can also relate this to my alcoholics anonymous sponsor/sponsee relationships. I truly realize and understand that I cannot keep what I have unless I give it away. Lord, I pray that you open my eyes to every opportunity to testify of your salvation, joy, and glory.

  • #7753

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Lesson 4
    I relate so much to the blessed mentoree. I can’t say enough about how much I have been molded and helped from the most precious, generous, caring, loving, knowledgeable and wise people that God has put in my life.
    The one thing I have not come across is the “Made Right Hamburger”… all I can say is that it would be hopeless to try to teach me the proper technique of neatly eating it. Just give me a fork an lots of napkins please!

  • #7754

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Lesson 5
    I have been on the receiving end of the good characteristics of a mentor and those experiences have left a lifelong impression on me that I will forever cherish, and has molded me into the person I am today. I am so grateful for them and remain in them to this day. I have grown and learned so much that I am growing ever closer to becoming a mentor. I do see the areas in which I lack and need improve such as time and availability, and facts, resources, information which I am working on through this bible college and continued education. These are two large areas I need to hone in on to become a full rounded good mentor.

  • #7755

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Lesson 6
    There was a lot of valuable and applicable information in this lesson such as the 10 Commandments, and what to look for when choosing a mentor and/or mentoree. Dr. Wise then stated that you can be mentored in many different areas over your lifetime in which I certainly have. I have been mentored in the areas of marriage, parenting, as a member of a 12 Step program, and as a Christian, and many mini mentorings along the way.
    It especially brought back a fond memory when Dr, Wise spoke of the importance of praying to our Lord to find the ideal mentor or mentoree. I remember very vividly that a very outstanding and highly impressionable mentor of mine always told me that she prayed for a person to move in next door to her that she can lead to Christ, and then I moved in, me and my need for a renewal of my commitment to the Lord Jesus and in desperate need of a mentor. Judy Remley was her name. She was huge in strengthening my walk with Christ. I went to church with her every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and she also led a women’s bible study class on Thursdays. She was right next door! She seemed to know when I was going through a trying situation and would call me, ands say “the Lord put it on my heart that you need prayer. She was amazing and had EVERY characteristics of a GREAT mentor!

  • #7758

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    Mentoring #7
    I just love Dr. Wise’s statement:
    “People tend to do NOT what we expect, but what we inspect”. How true! Once again it boils down to accountability. I think a true test of a person’s commitment is the level of Mentoring they choose.Just like any relationship, the more you put in the more you get out. Attraction may get the ball rolling, but unless you have responsiveness (attitude transferred into action) , or accountability (inspection with progress) your rewards will be minimal .

  • #7762

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Pastor Steve, not sure how this happened, but the mentoring #7 comment that begins with just love Dr. wise statement was from Doug not Roberta as was a comment back to P Bob. Sorry

  • #7766

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    Pastor Steve , this is really Roberta and my lesson 7 comment came out as a reply to someone elses comment but it is clearly marked. Sorry. Thanks for your patience and tolerance. 😃

  • #7770

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring 8
    The fact is that no matter how much we know, how spiritually mature we are, how schooled we are, how long we have been Christians, or our age… we all need Spiritual check ups from time to time and regularly. We all need this type of trusted relationship in our lives to keep us honest, accountable, motivated, right attitudes, and for guidance in time of need. It’s a journey to the heavenly destination. It’s ultimately all about relationships, with God, and with others.

  • #7771

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #8
    When I feel drawn to a fellow Christian, I now realize that it’s the Holy Spirit that has put that Godly, Mature, Spirit led individual in my path.
    I’ve heard talk of Spiritual Guide’s before, but never quite understood what they were all about. Nice to clarify that the Discipler lays the Christian foundation and then the Spiritual Guide builds on the solid foundation…. Taking us from dependence to independence, to interdependence.

  • #7774

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #9
    While I can relate to the examples of athletes and coaching, assessing ones strengths and weaknesses, giving feedback and teaching the correct methods, I wish Dr Wise would have given some current real life examples of how to coach a mentoree. I did enjoy the example that was presented in the counseling between Moses and Jethro. Jethro told Moses “your burden is too heavy, I will give you counsel”. In essence he taught or coached Moses in how to delegate the handling of problems to other leaders he had chosen. Minor problems would be handled by the appointed leaders. Major problems would be taken to God by Moses. This enabled Moses to become a Mentor for those leaders.

    • #7777

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      Yes I agree, I could have used some coaching examples rather than golfing and the Olympics. I think the exact detailed outline of each title is often crossed and overlapped at different times in different relationships for various necessary reasons.

  • #7775

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring 9
    I, thankfully, have been involved in, I believe, all these types of Mentoring relationships, Of course I’ve needed it, and I also sought it, since I came from an extremely relational deficient home, to put it nicely. I feel very blessed for each and every one of them.
    In this lesson, the Dr mentioned, that a good Coach/Counselor/Teacher/sponsor is to be unbiased, or in partial, which is very important to be effective. I have felt unqualified to be a good sponsor in certain situations where the person that wanted me to mentor them was too much of a friend. We were too close. I didn’t feel I’d be taken seriously, or that I could could effectively advise or be honest without hurting that persons feeling, and have turned down the request. It’s important to decline these duties if you see them not ending well and ruining a good relationship.

  • #7786

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #10
    I think it’s interesting to think Historical Mentoring is still so prevalent today. If you think about it, just reading and studying the Bible is a form of Historical Mentoring. I personally feel like I fall into the occasional Mentoree, supplemented with Historical Mentors. However, I wouldn’t be opposed to a more intensive Mentor. Any volunteers?

    • #7788

      Roberta Leps
      Participant

      You are surrounded with great potential mentors and models. I agree about the historical mentor being the Bible and Jesus. He is and will always be the ultimate mentor and His Holy Spirit is forever hands on and current as we let Him reign in our lives!

  • #7787

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Number 10
    I feel that I’m in a position in my life where I am ready, willing, able and eager to be become increasing more involved in my church organization.
    I hope and pray that I can be worthy of being recognized, be of use and service, sponsored, and continually mentored to the next level. God I pray for knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out! Amen

  • #7789

    Roberta Leps
    Participant

    The Art of Mentoring Number 11
    It is important to not isolate. You cannot grow without relationships. It is very important to have good relationships. All kinds of positive influences and models and mentors. Between our amazing group of friends, members and staff at the Vineyard church and all my AA friends, peers, current and past sponsors, I would say I have a vast mix of accountability relations, mentors and models of every direction, and for that I feel very well rounded, blessed, loved, and cared for. Not to mention my home life with a husband that shares the same moral and Christian goals as myself.
    I also like where the Dr points out that we never stop learning and growing. I learn many new things every day. I want to. That is what I strive for. That’s what life is all about… relationships and learning and growing to be more and more Christ like.

  • #7790

    douglasleps
    Participant

    Mentoring #11
    Lots of good information in this lesson. The concept of the 3 dimensions of learning was interesting, and even before Dr. Wise mentioned it I found myself thinking how the Horizontal Dimension was a lot like how my wife and I interact and learn from each other. We are very much peers and are always comparing notes from each other and from our past experiences. I totally agree with the idea that we should never stop learning. If you ever begin to think you know it all, you are deceived. Investing your time and energy in another person is fruitful. We need to commit to instilling our values, beliefs, and understanding to the next generation for our futures. Proverbs 22:6 says… train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
    Who better to Mentor than our children.

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